Dear Sticky Glue

I knew from almost the moment I met you, you were going to be a problem. I knew it was no good getting anywhere near you, so I stayed away. But just because you stay away, it doesn't mean you can't get stuck. And stuck I got. I wish I could just settle with tape or something and get over you, but for some reason I just like glue. I like everything about glue, which is probably why I always end up in this sticky situations. But glue has a tendency to make my head spin when I get it in large doses. I keep thinking that you'll do something horrible enough to finally convince me to let go...maybe go attach yourself to some obnoxious sequins since that seems to suit your fancy. But I still find myself going back anyway. You compliment every interest in my life, and yet infuriate me with it at the same time. You're a schmooze...glue schmoozes with everything. You'd think it could just settle with paper since they work so well together, but glue never seems happy enough with just paper. It has to go and attempt to adhere to every material possible. Well I'm tired of being the paper.